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DLane
Posts:1
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| 09/21/2009 7:36 PM |
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Long story short.....I have been in an on again off again relationship with a man that I truly love. He is caring, attentive, generous and very willing to help me raise my young daughter. We have come close to marrying several time but I run up against this same brick wall every time. Problem, He has a very rageful temper when he doesn't get his way. This rage includes cussing, name calling and threats. Of course he is always sorry after the fact and wants me to support him through changing this lifelong personality trait. He says as long as I stand by him we will seek out any kind of help that is available. He is 52 yrs old and I am afraid it is too late for a change.
Every other week I am ready to call it quits and move on. Any suggestions as far as counceling?
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Ashley4
Posts:7
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| 12/27/2009 9:53 PM |
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| I would get the pastor or counselor involved in some serious counseling before you make any decisions about the relationship. If he does not change, and you end up marrying him, you will not be happy and your daughter will suffer. If he's verbally abusive to you, I would wonder how long will it be until it turns physical? As far as saying "as long as I stand by him we will seek out any kind of help" that sounds alot like a control mechanism. He should want to get better not only for you and your daughter, but for himself. So I would get some God-centered counseling going on STAT. |
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dannimariec
Posts:3
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| 12/28/2009 1:36 PM |
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| I totally agree with Ashley on this one! For the age that he is, he is more than capable to learn some self control, and also you can't change him, He himself has to choose that for himself whether he is with you or not! But definitely seek help and guidance before going deeper into this relationship. More than anything, this man sounds selfish to me. |
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JoeMS
Posts:38
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| 01/11/2010 3:40 PM |
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In addition to the good advise above you might investigate from a different angle, especially since you are rightfully concerned that he might be too old to change.
I know a woman who was in a long dating relationship with a man. He was/is a nice guy but had his weak spots which were quite a concern to the woman--the problems might not have been as serious as the one you describe. She insisted that he have a Spect brain scan. He agreed and they were both happy with the information learned from the scan and the results of the recommended medication, supplements and lifestyle changes. I understand that the combination of supplements and lifestyle changes had a positive effect even without the small dose of medication.
Check out these sample scan results.
http://www.amenclinics.com/brain-science/spect-image-gallery/spect-atlas/images-of-the-ring-of-fire/
Remember guys are usually "visual." Seeing the results of the scan and comparing them to a "normal" scan can be a powerful incentive for a guy to do something about his health.
One way to learn more is to read Dr. Amen's book "Healing the Hardware of the Soul." The book also has check lists that you can use to try to determine if his behavior is serious enough to warrant further investigation by a doctor. |
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Travis
Posts:38
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| 01/18/2010 10:46 PM |
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Since I can't relate a lot to this, I would say pray. God does answer prayers. Believe me. I just noticed today a prayer that God answered. I am so stoked.
Anyhow, I hope God hears your voice and spirit.
The other advice everyone else gave, sound helpful as well. Please let us know how things are going. |
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~And in the end, The love you take
Is equal to the love you make~ |
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